The old saying, “You got to release what you are holding with your hands in order to grasp something better” applies to relationships too.
Signs that a break up is necessary
- When you find yourself in an abusive relationship, it is time to consider a break up. Physical, emotional and all forms of abuse could mean that relationship is not worth keeping.
- When you no longer feel the need to be with your partner, and you keep on giving excuses not being with your partner.
- When you find that you constantly fight with your partner despite all efforts not to fight.
- You are no longer attracted to your partner physically despite all the effort to be intimate.
- Your relationship has changed a lot since you began being together and the changes are for the worse. That would indicate a doomed relationship.
- Communicating with your partner is difficult as the barriers to communication keeps pilling up.
- You have begun keeping secrets or your partner is keeping secrets from you. This is an indication of dying trust.
- You often find hurting each other and having to apologize often.
- The relationship is too demanding for you e.g. to change entirely into what you are not.
- You no longer have sex with each other or you take too long to have sex.
- You are having sex with someone else and you feel attracted to that person more than with your partner.
- You find it difficult to apologize to your partner when you disagree.
Relationships always have some issues that need to be solved either by dialog or counseling. Sometimes the relationship is just strained by other external factors like money, job, in laws, friends etc. Knowing the source of the problem is far much better before taking action.
Remember, there is only one life to live, and it is not right to live in a misery, hence sometimes a break up is the best thing to do.
Here are some tips on how to break up
- Gather all the reasons why you need to break up and be prepared to give all the reasons to your partner.
- Avoid breaking up with someone when you are not face to face, rather be there in person and express yourself.
- Do it when you are in a comfortable place. Avoid crowded places as your partner may feel intimidated and avoid secluded places since your partner may as well attack you and worse, rape you.
- Be kind and considerate to your partner. Don’t make your partner feel like a loser or a miser; remember they also have another life ahead.
- Say exactly what you mean, in clear coherent words that do not leave your partner in doubt.
- Decide of you will continue being friends or you will part ways for good.